Getting into fights (reposted)
Yes, again another repost…
Was watching alot of video clips on people fighting in the streets, something fresher instead of the boring pornography. Catfights included. It was especially interesting to see how easy it is to knock people out cold!! Indeed, nobody wants to get embralled in a fight. but when you do, you should always remember the above 8 steps, derived after watching hundreds of fight clips. Remember, it’s either you getting into a fight, or you getting beated shit in a fight. We try not to do the 8 steps unless people really ask for it, yea?
Well, here are the 8 steps to follow when you decide to take down the man:
Step 1) See how many friends your opponent has; very important!! There was one clip that shows someone giving a punch to a guy whom happens to have a 350 lb friend who returned the favour…heavily!
Step 2) See how big your opponent is; There is no david and the goliath in the real world, even if there is…you will find that david is infact a much larger person than goliath..
Step 3) Observe around for usable weapons; Yes, it’s a street fight man, there is no restrictions on it, the main objective is to secure a swift and decisive victory over your opponent. Of course avoid sharp objects, use only lightweight chairs, poles, bottles and nothing stabbing.
Step 4) Strike first, Strike hard; From the videoclips, the first guy who strikes is always the winner. Strike when least expected, go for the head, throat or obdominals right under the rib-cage. This requires an all-out approach where the heavist blows are dealt. It will be very fast and no stopping until someone is down on the floor begging for mercy or out cold. Most fights lasts less than 15 secs, it only takes one good blow to knock the bugger out. Do not be afraid to beat the crap out of the person, the human is very easily knocked out, but it is not so easy to kill by untrained bare knuckles.
Step 5) Follow up Strike; Do not allow him or her to stand up, additional blows would ensure a secured victory. Smash heavier objects such as tables on him or her or you can simply give a kick in the face, obdominals or lower back. Make sure the lights are out or there is adequate pain to ensure zero retaliation.
Step 6) Strike Somemore; Yes, there is no hero in streetfights, so what if he is down? This time you can use lighter blows on more sensitive areas, e.g side of upper torso, groin..etc. This is more for psychological effect, ensures that you have brutalised him or her enough that he will not want to fight you again in future.
Step 7) Escape; Yes, leave the ambulance calling to the other people looking around, get out of the vicinity. Find a new shirt or something. Staying to savour the win will result in you paying for the damage done to the pub, club or restaurant. Or get into a very sticky situation when the cops arrive. Once again, this is a street fight, you achieve your objective (take down the man) and you get out, quick.
Step 8) Reorganise and Resupply; Check yourself for any damage, you dun wan to go home and while showering discover a parage sticking out from your back. Find some new clothes and have a good warm meal at home. No more staying out in the streets. Getting together with your friends would be a good idea too! besides being able to brag about your win, you can also have protection in numbers!
(Disclaimer: The writer does not guarantee a win in street fights even if the 8 Steps are followed. Results may vary. If symptoms appear, please stop the use of 8 Steps and consult a doctor immeadiately.)
Anticipate Junctions; dun accelerate so much when you already see it’s red light in front. Sometimes if you anticipate well enough, you will find that your car will probably never stop at any red light on your way to the destination.